cryoverkiltmilk:

violent-darts:

grison-in-labs:

fractiousrvt:

tinyelfperson:

melissa-anne-rose:

beebossinner:

babyanimalgifs:

this husky is mad because he wants to take a bath but isn’t allowed to

let my poor baby take his bath

If y'all really knew. If y'all really knew what utter drama queens huskies are this wouldn’t surprise you at all.

This is my life.

Literally my husky is the same way. He’s only a few months and he’ll cry to go back outside after being in the house two seconds.

I once ran out of my house in my pajamas at 2 in the fucking morning because I heard a dog screaming like it had been hit by a car. As I’m pelting towards the road barefoot I see an open garage with two people standing there and a husky in the back of a truck. I slowed down and asked them if that noise had been their dog.

Heavily embarrassed they admitted that it was. The reason for the godawful tortured sound the dog had made?

“We took his running harness off.”

And that was the moment I vowed to never own a husky.

I frequently pet sit for a friend’s husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.

She is dumb as soup.

(You didn’t hear that from me: her owner thinks she’s a genius, bless him.)

Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:

  • I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now she’s gone and I can’t figure out how to get down
  • That one cat won’t be friends with me even though all the others will
  • I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I don’t know how to get down
  • I’m mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time
  • I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldn’t
  • I’m overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store
  • I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now I’m frustrated
  • I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I forgot you weren’t dead and I’m overjoyed
  • You are not petting me enough
  • You are not petting me at all
  • I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you won’t let me off again for a while
  • There’s a brush and I need it
  • You made eye contact with me and didn’t immediately drop everything to pet me


She’s a very good dog, and she’s a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.

To be fair, you and your friend may both be right: huskies, like border-collies, are just intelligent enough to develop Exciting Cognitive Neuroses, much like a toddler, which frankly dumber dogs will skip because they don’t actually have quite enough extra cognitive space to think up ways to be utterly fucking ridiculous. 

I kind of suspect this is going on here in part because of the dog being so very specifically upset that the one cat won’t be friends, despite all the other cats being friends, and also the overcome-with-joy bits: you’ll notice they’re very similar to what makes toddlers randomly cry for no reason. 

Where a bulldog doesn’t care about the difference between laminate and hardwood, a husky is just smart enough to get VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THESE ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT AND POSSIBLY IT MEANS THAT GETTING DOWN WILL BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AAAAAUGH! and get hysterically anxious about it. 

“Smarter”, in animals as in humans, does not actually always mean “more sensible.” XD 

I was feeling very lonely this evening and now I’m laughing down to my belly so thank you for this post

(via hotboyproblems)

fluidityandgiggles:

quinintheclouds:

alleenickel:

blue-fluffy-dragon:

zombiebrainsoup:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

nuka-rockit:

the bible but its retold in memes

“if she eat the fruit, she a thot”, the Allmighty said

“all women are queensssss” the serpent hissed into Eve’s ear

HE saw that they had eaten the fruit. and so with divine fury, he cast them out of Paradise as HIS voice thundered across the planes

“This bitch sentient. YEET”

Jesus handed his disciples the cup with wine

“take a sip babes, for this is my blood”

as he cast samael the lightbringer out of heaven, the lord turned to his voice. metatron, this is so sad. play despacito

God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. Then said for all, but Noah and his family, “then perish”

And on the seventh day, God said: “It is Sunday, my dudes.”

  • And He told His followers about the Promised Land:
image
  • Moses commanded the red sea in the name of God, “Move, I’m gay.”
  • And the Lord spoke to his disciples, “Take, cronch. This is my body, given for you.” Then, lifting the wine, Jesus cracked open a cold one with the boys.
  • The blind man was made to see by Jesus’ hand, and he looked up in awe. “I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus.”
  • The Pharaoh of Egypt would not relent, for he was the sand guardian, guardian of the sand, and the Israelites quivered before him.
  • Tied up and helpless, Samson’s wig was snatched.
  • On the third day, Jesus rose again. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me.”
  • “PSA: here are the new Commandments, thank you for coming to my TED talk.”
  • “Um OP literally created the world and everything in it but go off I guess”
  • Witnessing Jesus walking on water, the disciples were in awe: “Oh, my God — He on x-games mode”
  • Jesus, bound to the cross, spoke thusly:
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David: Bro I had a dream we fucked

Jonathan: Bro it’s just a dream

David: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you

Jonathan: You wouldn’t?

David: I mean, unless you want to…

(via godpenis)

futureblackwakandan:

lizoncloud9:

imoverallofit:

BRUH

Its ridiculous how LONG I’ve been looking for this. I tried to explain it to someone one day, and i just… Couldn’t 😂😂

Nah deadass how do you describe this to ppl ?! 😩😩😂😂

Vine was really the best thing to happen to the internet

(via joshpeck)


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